greatest blessings

I am so blessed to be a part of my amazing family.  I am so glad that God has chosen to write this story for me, because it is not one I would have written myself.  I believe God has drawn me so much closer to Him, to a dependence I never knew possible, because of the circumstances He places in our family.  I have the most amazing husband, the most incredible self-less eight year old son, two amazing 5 year old boys that hold more joy in them...a joy that I wished could live that deeply in me and an eight year old daughter that is teaching me so much about unconditional love and brokenness.  There is so much more to all of their stories and I am just in awe that God would give me a front seat into their lives.  He is doing amazing things in and through them, things I never could do!

I consider it one of my greatest blessings to be able to rely on God so much.  Nothing is richer than to walk in fellowship with Him.  I have been trying to write a post on this for a while, but can never figure out just how to express my thoughts.  This morning during worship, I decided it was best to express them through a worship song.  Worship song resinate in my soul so deeply that every word has power and I cling to every word as I sing it to the Lord.

Healer by Kari Jobe

You hold my very moment - God literally hold me every moment because without Him I could not handle, nor would I want to, most of my daily moments.

You calm my raging seas - He is there when it is pouring rain outside but He stops it for 10 minutes just so I can get all of the kids and the boys equipment out of the car and we can make it into our appointment dry, He is there as Owen begins to speak again showing us that Owen still is all mentally here just not as verbal but he is making progress, He is here as Logan shows so much love and compassion for his brothers wanting to feed them, encourage them to walk and get them out of bed, He is there in the moments when Karis decides to smile at us, He is there...

You walk with me through fire - He is there during Karis's rages of anger, He is there when Owen's muscles hurt so bad he cries, He is there when Logan is so tired of the chaos that has been brought in to our house, He is there when Nathan is so exhausted from hearing that he throws his cochlear implants off, He is there for the insurance red tape and massive medical bills, He is there when we have to remove part of Owen's chair because he cries from the physical hurt it causes him to sit in it, He is there as we all jump on the trampoline and my arms are so exhausted from jumping holding Nathan and Owen but He gives me the strength to just keep going, He is there when I think about Mia's death and all that I am missing out on in this life with her, He is there....
And heal all my disease - He has shown me that He heals our diseases in the ways that are most beautiful and meaningful to Him and not always the way we would plan
I trust in You, I trust in You - I must trust in the Lord to live this life journey He has placed in front of me.

I believe You're my healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe - God is my Healer, Strength, Joy and ALL I NEED

And I believe You're my portion - and it is my greatest portion
I believe You're more than enough for me - God is way more than enough for me, way more than what I deserve
Jesus You're all I need - truly ALL I NEED to a make it through the moment, day, week, month, year, lifetime is JESUS

The song repeats

Nothing is impossible for You - the way You choose to share the story you have written for our lives so far and the story You are writing for our future
Nothing is impossible - the way You decided to use Nathan and Owen with or without physical advancement
Nothing is impossible for You - the way you will use Logan to grow into a servant of Yours
You hold my world in Your hands - my entire world is in Your hands

Nothing is impossible for You - mission opportunities our family has around the world
Nothing is impossible - for Karis to learn how to love and be a real emotionally invested part of our family
Nothing is impossible for You - for our family to continue to stand strong as Your people
You hold my world in Your hands - my entire world is in Your hands

The song repeats

You're my healer - The ultimate Healer: emotionally, spiritually and physically